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Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me bike parts!
I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
Let's not get each other gifts unless you already got me one.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
I’m dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the white runs outs, I will drink the red.
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.