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We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
Santa has been reading your Facebook status… He’s going to send you a dictionary for Christmas.
Dear Santa, I'm writing you to let you know that I've been naughty... and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.
I'm too fucking drunk to remember what you wanted.
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
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