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A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
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