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I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
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