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Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
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