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True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
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