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I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
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