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Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
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