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I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
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