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You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness.
I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I've stalked you on the internet.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.