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i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
I apologize that being a parent is very hard to fit into your schedule but what I did was canceled my life to make it work
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
Bitchcraft : The art of pissing people off by telling them the truth.
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Sunday...a day of rest...REST of the laundry, REST of the housework and REST of all the other crap I didn't do Yesterday!!!
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
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