Dear Life, When I Asked If My Day Could Get Wo eCard

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Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
I'm kind of lady, but definitely more of a pervert.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
Today I will not be Wearing a bra, Getting dressed, Or leaving the house Lazy Sunday
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.