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Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
My life is a very complicated drinking game.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina volunteers a lot.
Even the fish wouldn't have got caught if he would of kept his mouth shut
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
You can't fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
