I Don’t Need Therapy. I Have Wine. eCard

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I'd do anything to lose 101lbs, except eat healthy and work out.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
All this bullshit made me strong motherfucker.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
I apologize that being a parent is very hard to fit into your schedule but what I did was canceled my life to make it work
I love everybody, Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and some I would love to punch in the face.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.