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When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
I used to care, but now I take a pill for that
This could be my medication talking but im feeling good
Honey, stop with the lies. Did you forget we know you in real life?
You can't fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
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