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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Pink is the only color I finger paint with!
If I were a Lannister you would be my sister.
I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
Narcissism - It's my best friend.
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
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