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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Money can't buy me happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a mansion.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
This could be my medication talking but im feeling good
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