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The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
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Even the fish wouldn't have got caught if he would of kept his mouth shut
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
I love everybody, Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and some I would love to punch in the face.
