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The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Know how I know I like you? When I think about you I get all tingly in my special place.
You can't fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Today I will not be Wearing a bra, Getting dressed, Or leaving the house Lazy Sunday
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
I love everybody, Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and some I would love to punch in the face.
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