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Sunday...a day of rest...REST of the laundry, REST of the housework and REST of all the other crap I didn't do Yesterday!!!
My life is a very complicated drinking game.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
Today I will not be Wearing a bra, Getting dressed, Or leaving the house Lazy Sunday
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
I used to care, but now I take a pill for that
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
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