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I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
Bitchcraft : The art of pissing people off by telling them the truth.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
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