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I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
I'd do anything to lose 101lbs, except eat healthy and work out.
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
Narcissism - It's my best friend.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
All this bullshit made me strong motherfucker.
Money can't buy me happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a mansion.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
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