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4th of July
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A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
This could be my medication talking but im feeling good
I love everybody, Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and some I would love to punch in the face.
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
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