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Bitch, I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be a princess. No seriously. Somebody needs to fix this.
You can't fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
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