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The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
I love everybody, Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and some I would love to punch in the face.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round...and laughed and l...
Bitchcraft : The art of pissing people off by telling them the truth.
I may have over-trusted that fart.
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
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