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Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
Pink is the only color I finger paint with!
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times, we just hug.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
My favorite winter activity is going back inside and putting my pajamas on.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina volunteers a lot.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
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