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Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round...and laughed and l...
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
My life is a very complicated drinking game.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
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