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Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
If I were a Lannister you would be my sister.
This could be my medication talking but im feeling good
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
Sunday...a day of rest...REST of the laundry, REST of the housework and REST of all the other crap I didn't do Yesterday!!!
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round...and laughed and l...
The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
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