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My life is a very complicated drinking game.
Bitch, I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
Sunday...a day of rest...REST of the laundry, REST of the housework and REST of all the other crap I didn't do Yesterday!!!
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
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