This Could Be My Medication Talking But Im Feel eCard

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Money can't buy me happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a mansion.
Today I will not be Wearing a bra, Getting dressed, Or leaving the house Lazy Sunday
Know how I know I like you? When I think about you I get all tingly in my special place.
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.