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I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
I used to care, but now I take a pill for that
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
Even the fish wouldn't have got caught if he would of kept his mouth shut
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
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