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Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
This could be my medication talking but im feeling good
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
Bitchcraft : The art of pissing people off by telling them the truth.
The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
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