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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Bitch, I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
My favorite winter activity is going back inside and putting my pajamas on.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
I love everybody, Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and some I would love to punch in the face.
Pink is the only color I finger paint with!
It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
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