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Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
You can't fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No... wait... It's just that flying fuck I don't give.
I may have over-trusted that fart.
I am so in L-word with you.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be a princess. No seriously. Somebody needs to fix this.
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