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I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Even the fish wouldn't have got caught if he would of kept his mouth shut
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
Pink is the only color I finger paint with!
I must admit, you brought religion into my life, I never believed in hell until I met you.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
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