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i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
I'm kind of lady, but definitely more of a pervert.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
Honey, stop with the lies. Did you forget we know you in real life?
