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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
Money can't buy me happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a mansion.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round...and laughed and l...
Honey, stop with the lies. Did you forget we know you in real life?
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina volunteers a lot.
I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
Know how I know I like you? When I think about you I get all tingly in my special place.
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