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We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Bitchcraft : The art of pissing people off by telling them the truth.
Sunday...a day of rest...REST of the laundry, REST of the housework and REST of all the other crap I didn't do Yesterday!!!
I may have over-trusted that fart.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be a princess. No seriously. Somebody needs to fix this.
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