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I don’t want to sound like a badass but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
I may have over-trusted that fart.
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
Bitch, I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
If I were a Lannister you would be my sister.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
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