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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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I'd do anything to lose 101lbs, except eat healthy and work out.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
My life is a very complicated drinking game.
Know how I know I like you? When I think about you I get all tingly in my special place.
We can't all be princesses, someone has to clap when I walk by.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
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