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I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be a princess. No seriously. Somebody needs to fix this.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
Even the fish wouldn't have got caught if he would of kept his mouth shut
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse, it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
I am not a complete idiot!!! There is a few parts missing.
Bitch, I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
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