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I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
Money can't buy me happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a mansion.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
Honey, stop with the lies. Did you forget we know you in real life?
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.
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