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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
Know how I know I like you? When I think about you I get all tingly in my special place.
Of course I'm an angel! The horns are just there to keep my halo straight.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina volunteers a lot.
I may have over-trusted that fart.
I'd let you kiss me on the mouth immediately after oral sex.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
I'm pretty sure the cops are going to come question me tomorrow, about the wings I just murdered tonight.
The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
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