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i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
I may have over-trusted that fart.
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
Some people have the calm before the storm. I have the panic before the nothing.
Pink is the only color I finger paint with!
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
