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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
Men will never know the agony of childbirth, menstrual cramps or taking off glitter nail polish.
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
Narcissism - It's my best friend.
Pink is the only color I finger paint with!
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
I may have over-trusted that fart.
Honey, stop with the lies. Did you forget we know you in real life?
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