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Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
I bet that when I was little girl my father never thought that I would grow up to be such a beautiful and loving financial obligation.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
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