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4th of July
St. Patrick's Day
Thinking of you
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There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
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