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I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
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