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Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
I bet that when I was little girl my father never thought that I would grow up to be such a beautiful and loving financial obligation.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
Sometimes I look at my husband and think... "Damn, you are one lucky man."
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
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