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Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
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