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I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
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