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Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
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