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I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
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