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Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
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