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Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
I bet that when I was little girl my father never thought that I would grow up to be such a beautiful and loving financial obligation.
Sometimes I look at my husband and think... "Damn, you are one lucky man."
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
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