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Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
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