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My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
Sometimes I look at my husband and think... "Damn, you are one lucky man."
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
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