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Money can't buy me happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a mansion.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round...and laughed and l...
A simple way to reduce shower time is masturbating beforehand.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
My top 5 exercises: 1) jumping to conclusions 2) flying off the handle 3) carrying things too far 4) dodging responsibilities 5) pushing my luc...
All this bullshit made me strong motherfucker.
i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
The best part of my day is when my pills kick in. I love Unicorns!
I am so in L-word with you.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
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