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My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
I bet that when I was little girl my father never thought that I would grow up to be such a beautiful and loving financial obligation.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
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