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I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
Sometimes I look at my husband and think... "Damn, you are one lucky man."
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
Just added my son as a friend on Facebook and his status said WTF mom It’s so cute of him that he greeted me with Welcome To Facebook Mo...
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