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Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
I bet that when I was little girl my father never thought that I would grow up to be such a beautiful and loving financial obligation.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
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