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You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
As your best friend, I will always be there for you. Until you post a picture of me on Facebook I didn’t approve.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
A real best friend makes your family question your sexuality.
Sorry there's no Instagram filter to make you look less drunk in photos.
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