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You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
Happy birthday to someone who is smart, gorgeous, funny and reminds me alot of myself...from one fabulous bitch to another!
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.
I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm and random shenanigans.
I think I have Alzheimer's because I can't remember when I asked you for your fucking opinion?
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither.
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