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True friends don't get offended when you insult them. They laugh and insult you back with something even better.
Behind every good woman is a good friend.
A real friend is someone who knows how totally crazy you really are, but is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
I have come to the conclusion that I should definitely drink more when trying to deal with you.
Everyone needs a smart-assed, sarcastic friend. I'm so happy to be of service to you.
Mocking stupid people is the glue that holds our friendship together!
You're a sarcastic asshole, you have a fucked up sense of humour and you're weird as fuck...I like that shit
I'm not a psychologist, but I see your problem, and it is YOU.
Make no mistake between my personality and my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
Your secret is safe with me and my best friend.
