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I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
My talents include taking my bra off without taking my shirt off.
The older I get, the more I realize how much I fucking hate people.
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it up and shove it up your ass.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina volunteers a lot.
Honey, stop with the lies. Did you forget we know you in real life?
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
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