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Today is the: World Contraception Day
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
Before you ask someone why they don't like you, ask yourself why you care.
Club goin' up, on a Tuesday Got your girl in the cut and she choosey
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
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