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I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
I dont always lose my phone... ...but when I do, it's always on silent.
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Coffee... The old school Energy Drink
If I’m still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don’t deserve a sandwich.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
I'm having an "out of money" experience!
I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
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