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Big or small? Pedigreed or rescue? Enough! My dog is a part of my soul. That's all you need to know!
I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
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