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I scored 400 on Flappy Bird, should I put this achievement on my CV ?
I didn’t invent the word Bitch, I just perfected it.
Coffee... The old school Energy Drink
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
I'm having an "out of money" experience!
Water is so good when it’s mixed with barley, hops, and yeast.
I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
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