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Today is the: World Contraception Day
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
I’m not great at advice, may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
This weekend should be fun...I have absolutely no intention on being good.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
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