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4th of July
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I wonder if she's still mad at me. Oh wait, she just "liked" my status. We're good.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
Today is the: World Contraception Day
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
I can hardly wait to hear what I'm going to say.
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly.
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
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