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I have an irrational fear of wasting a good outfit on an insignificant day.
I don’t get how people can have sex on airplanes. Where do they shower and cry when they’re done?
No one showers and shaves faster than a woman who thinks she's about to get laid.
That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.
You make me wish I have more middle fingers.
I think Facebook is broken. I put up a status and no one "liked" it even though I refreshed it a few times.
Now accepting applications for a partner in crime, must have a sense of humor, attention to detail nudity may be required
The next person that tells me I have Anger Issues is going to get the shit slapped out of them.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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