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Thinking of you
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Happiness is finding half a bag of gummy bears in the bottom of your purse.
Nothing taste as good as skinny feels. Except pizza. Or cake...
You want to know secret, how I reached high scores on Flappy Bird? I tap the screen with my middle finger.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear. So I whispered, "Let's go Rangers," in her ear.
Sometimes I wish my pet’s could talk, then I remember all the thing’s they’ve seen me do when I’m alone.
Let's not put a label on what we're doing, let's just say it works until we both find someone better.
Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn’t proof that I can effectively work as part of a team.
Darling, It's not going to fuck itself...
I’m not upset it’s Monday, I’m upset I have to change out of my Pajamas and put my bra back on.
Fuck this, fuck you, fuck everyone. Just fuck this fucking shit, you mother fucker and for all you looking at me fuck off
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