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i hate it when people tell me swearing isn't necessary. I'm fucking vulgar, not stupid; I know it isn't fucking necessary!
You know you're really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves...
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
Sometimes when people are talking to me I daydream about what they would do if I suddenly punched them right in the face.
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
I apologize that being a parent is very hard to fit into your schedule but what I did was canceled my life to make it work
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her vagina volunteers a lot.
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
Money can't buy me happiness, but I'd much rather cry in a mansion.
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.