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We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
Sometimes I look at my husband and think... "Damn, you are one lucky man."
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
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