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Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
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