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Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
Sometimes I look at my husband and think... "Damn, you are one lucky man."
Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
Behind every crazy woman is a man that made her that way.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices….. You are one of them.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
My mom thinks my friends are bad influences but honestly, I'm usually the one coming up with the ideas.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
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