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I’m somewhat of a bullshitter myself, but occasionally, I like to listen to a real pro. Please carry on.
My grandma said the Internet has completely ruined people’s ability to communicate properly. I told her she didn’t know fuck about shi...
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my husband to go swimming.
We bought you Crocs to protect your virginity son.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
I'm so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
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