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Friends are God’s way of apologizing for family.
Being Mommy means never being lonely in the bathroom.
There’s always that one crazy family member who ruins every holiday.
Dear Parents, Thank you for giving me a weird name. Sincerely, The child who doesn't have a customized key chain.
Insanity doesn't run in my family. It strolls through getting to know us one at a time.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
It's incredibly easy to balance work & family when you don't care about either one.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
Homemade with love. In other words I licked the spoon and I keep using it.
I will break both my arms to succeed in carrying all the groceries into the house in one trip. That's what a real woman does.
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