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God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round...and laughed and l...
I don’t need Therapy. I have Wine.
I'm already going to Hell. Now I'm just trying to get a good spot!
Instead of milk with my cereal I use vodka, and also instead of my cereal I use cranberry juice.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
I used to care, but now I take a pill for that
I wish I really was as witty & sarcastic as people think I am, but the truth is that I'm just being brutally honest with them & they think ...
Today I will not be Wearing a bra, Getting dressed, Or leaving the house Lazy Sunday
I'm sorry for the unkind words I spoke out of hunger.
When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
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