The Best Part Of My Day Is When My Pills Kick In eCard

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When girls say; "Lets do dinner or something." I'm always thinking "something" is more rewarding.
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I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
Tried to count my swear words for one day. F**k that shit. I was born to swear.
There is no life without water, because without water there is no coffee and without coffee, I will kill you all :)
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
I am so in L-word with you.
Your face looks like a pussy and I'm in the mood for fisting.
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.