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I love Christmas lights! They remind me of my friends. They all hang together, half of them don’t work, and the ones that do aren’t th...
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
It's October, so you know what that means....... Merry Christmas!
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
I hope you like this present better than I did when I received it.
All I want for Christmas is enough alcohol to get me through Christmas.
Your gift will be arriving late or never.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
Santa, I want the ability to punch people in the face over internet.
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