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I'm pretty sure Santa chooses Ho Ho Hos before Bros.
Dear Santa, For Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t fuck it up like you did last year and the year before ...
All I want for Christmas is someone to fake an orgasm for.
...and the cup for Mommy so she won't have to drink straight from her wine bottle.
We wish you a bloated Christmas and shit-faced New Year.
Bad girls like you don’t go on my naughty list… you go in my little black book.
May your medications trick you into believing you're actually having a Merry Christmas.
All I want for Christmas is you... Nah just kidding :) Get me the latest swimming gear.
I'm a shopaholic on the road to recovery.... Just kidding. I'm actually on the road to the Dollar Tree
Merry Christmas to someone who is smart, sexy, friendly and reminds me a lot of myself!
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